This is an email I received from Tony on February 28, 2001. At the time he was the Design Department Assistant at Buffalo State.
Rome--
Today we had a guest speaker from Warner Bros. Animation. His name is Shaun McLaughlin and he's Associate Producer/Television Animation. He's also a Buff State grad. Anyway--I never go to these things--I just make the big signs for them. But I went today--even though it was at friggin' 9:00 in the morning! The guy put on a pretty good show--he showed a trailer from "Batman Beyond"--which is his baby. He's not a designer or an illustrator, but he "know's what he likes."
I never do this, because Tony V's all about doing the "Cool" thing--and the Cool thing isn't waiting around to talk to some guy from L.A. about my favorite comics! But I went up to him just before he was about to leave. I figured, "How many times is an animated TV procucer from L.A. going to come into my life." So Stan introduced me as the guy who made the sign. I did a funny craft paper sign with a really scrawny Batman. Then I told him about the website and how you and I had come up with an idea for an animated series. He wrote the address down in his Palm Pilot, and said that he'd look at it when he got back to California. He asked me what the name of the series was, and you know, for a second I forgot! Do you believe that? Then I told him, "SuperSenior." Then he said, "Well there's the problem. It's a bad name--nobody's going to take it."
But he said he'd look at it, and if there was nothing he could do with it--pass it along to other people he knows. He asked if there was a way to get ahold of me through the site, and I said yes. So, if I don't hear from him in two weeks, I'm supposed to call him. I've got his card. The victory here is that I actually approached someone and told them about one of my ideas.
So there.
Vee
After a reminder email from Tony, a few weeks later he did receive a response:
Tony:
Thank you for letting me look at your stuff. I think SuperSenior is the beginning of a good idea, but it lacks a frame of reference a point of view. Just to say that something is visually charged isn't enough. Just like in screenwriting, you have to show us, not tell us.
A few things to consider:
The title: It really sounds like some AARP propaganda.
If it's a half-hour show, why is your sample 8 minutes?
Even if you're doing it, saying that you introduce new secondary characters every episode sounds like you don't have much of an idea about your main characters, nor do you trust them to carry a show.
Your characters are stereotypes and not archetypes. Either go father out or bring them closer to home. For instance, the perfect guy needs to have something about him that HE worries about. The girl that Tony is in love with might secretly be in love with Tony.
Overall, the character dynamics are more high school than college. Perhaps this should be a show about high school?
The characters don't look like they belong in the same world. Most especially the adults look like they're visiting from another show.
Okay, that's the bad stuff. The good stuff is that you've ordered your thoughts about the show and done a coherent presentation on a show. That's already professionally and far ahead of where most people are. The next thing for you to do is to KEEP ON GOING. Keep working on this idea or on other ideas. I would also say that if you really want to do this sort of thing for a living, you're going to have to leave Buffalo.
I'm pretty busy, so this is all I have time for right now. If you have questions, please don't be afraid to ask. Think of this as opening a dialogue more than someone telling you you're not good enough. You can ask whatever you want and be assured that if it's too much, I'll tell you so.
---Shaun
Professional Critique
